This is a response to someone asking advice who has only one more chance with someone originally posted by HF0162.
"Here is some advice I'll give you through an experience of my own.
In my sophomore year, I dated 2 girls. X, and Y. They knew each other, and didn't hate each other. I dated X first. X was the best person I ever met. Every single thing about her was perfect. She liked me for who I was, which is something hard to do. But then, I dumped her. I had gotten into drugs. I did LSD, cocaine, tried Heroin a few times, acid, and tried PCP once. I had smoked pot before, but only a few times. After I dumped her I would get plastered every day before school and would go behind the gym at lunch and blaze it up again. Then I met Y. Y was like me (at the time). She did more drugs than I did, and was sexually insane. I fucked her in a classroom once, during school, with people walking through the halls. All the while X had stayed by me, even though I ignored her and made fun of her when I talked to Y and her friends.
This went on until May of my sophomore year. By that time (~6 months) X wanted nothing to do with me. And it was because I was a monster. I was absolutely out of control.
Then I got into an argument with my mother. She knew I was into drugs, and disapproved. She said one thing that forever changed me.
"You are ruining my life." Plain and simple, then she walked away while I stood there dazed and contemplating what the fuck just happened.
You know what I did? I went to my room. I flushed all the drugs I had. I cleaned myself up. I apologized to my friends for what I had been doing and dumped Y. She didn't care, she was dating another guy two days later.
And then I talked to X. I still cared for her. I sat for days in my room, thinking of what I wanted to say to her. I talked to her in August. I had prepared and memorized a response to any question or comment she could ask/make. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. It wasn't what I felt.
I talked to her. She could see that what I was saying wasn't heartfelt. I had thought of it to get her to take me back, and I was saying what I thought, not what I felt.
She told me that I disgusted her, and she wanted me to leave. I left.
I went home and was dumbfounded. I had just screwed over the one chance I had to say what I felt to the girl that I loved.
First day of my Junior year. Got "Huzzahs all around, HF0162 is clean and on the straight and narrow!" from other students and teachers alike.
Guess who was in my homeroom? X. She wouldn't talk to me, no matter what I said. A few months go by. Its a week until christmas. Last day of school before Winter break, everyone is bumblefucking around not getting any work done and having a good time.
The day ends. I go back to my homeroom to pack my bag for winter break, and X is there. She is the only one there. And do you know what I said to her?
EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING FELT.
"Im sorry" and do you know what?
I FUCKING CRIED. Yeah, I cried. In the middle of a classroom, with other students coming into the room. I cried for what felt like an eternity. I leaned against the wall and cried until I couldn't anymore.
I look up and everyone is gone. Except X. Shes standing in front of me and says 2 words.
"I know". She then gives me the best hug I've ever gotten, I'd never felt closer to someone than that moment right there and I probably never will.
I explained everything. I told her what had happened, why it happened, and how much I missed talking to her. Knowing that the one person who cared for me the most was ignoring me because I was too much of a coked-out asshole to notice had been killing me.
I dated her for the rest of my junior year and all of my senior year. I dated her through college.
I married her. I've been married for ten years and you know what? I think back every single day to the time when I said what I thought, not what I felt.
When you talk to her tomorrow, say what you feel. If you cry, you cry. If you don't, you don't. Who cares about beta vs. Alpha status? This isn't based purely on attraction. You care for her. If she is going to forgive you, then she will. If she isn't, then she won't.
tl;dr: Say what you feel. Its the only thing that matters. Don't expect her to forgive you immediately.
I wish you the absolute best of luck.
LPT: Bring tissues.
Edit: Fuck throwaways."
Amazing, eh?
The Story Source
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